It’s a new week, you had promised yourself that you’d wake up early everyday, go for a quick jog, and eat something healthy before involving in other activities of the day. Instead, you hit the snooze button three times, scrolled through your phone for half an hour, and grabbed a donut on your way out. Does this sound familiar?
That’s the tricky thing about habits. We all have them, some we’re proud of, and others we’d rather leave behind. But why is it so hard to stop doing the things we know are bad for us and equally hard to start doing the things that could change our lives for the better?
Well, here is the answer. Habits are hard to break and build due to the brain’s “autopilot” system. Let’s talk more about it below.
The Brain’s Autopilot Mode
At the core of it, habits are mental shortcuts. The brain builds habits through a simple cycle called a “habit loop.” This means that when you keep doing something in a certain situation and it gives you a good feeling or result, your brain learns to do it automatically.
Instead of consciously deciding “Should I brush my teeth?” Every morning, your brain just does it. Over time, the more you repeat it, the stronger that habit becomes.
This autopilot mode is great for survival because it frees up mental space. But here’s the catch: the brain doesn’t care if the habit is good (like reading every night) or bad (like smoking after dinner). Once it’s wired in, your brain treats it the same way.
Here is how habits are formed. Take a look at the loop.
cue → craving→ response → reward.
Cue: This is what reminds your brain to start doing something. It could be something around you, like the time of day, or something inside you, like feeling bored or stressed. It is the trigger.
Craving: This is what makes you want to do it. You’re not really after the action itself, but after the good feeling it gives you. Like feeling calm after eating when you’re stressed, or feeling awake after drinking coffee.
Response: This is the action you take to get what you want. The habit itself, like eating, scrolling through your phone, brushing your teeth or drinking coffee.
Reward: This is the nice feeling you get afterward. It tells your brain, “That felt good, do it again!” This releases a happy chemical called dopamine, which makes the habit stronger over time.
Breaking a habit means disrupting this loop. But your brain remembers the reward, and it craves it, even when you’re trying to resist. That’s why you can feel restless or even anxious when you try to stop.
Why Then Does Building Good Habits Feel Slow?
Starting a new habit, like exercising daily, eating healthy, or writing every morning, is like teaching your brain a brand-new language. At first, it feels clumsy and awkward. There’s no immediate reward. Going to the gym hurts, and writing a page feels small compared to finishing a whole book.
The reward for good habits such as success, fitness, self-improvement, is often delayed, while the reward for bad habits (pleasure, comfort, distraction) is instant. And our brains, by nature, love instant gratification.
Despite all of these, the good news is that habits can be reshaped. Though slow, you can find it easy to build good habits that would help you walk a better path.
Here is How to Make Habits Stick
Start Small: Want to read daily? Begin with two pages, not two chapters.
Pair with Existing Habits (Habit Stacking): Do 10 push-ups right after brushing your teeth. The old habit becomes the cue for the new one.
Make It Obvious & Easy: Leave a water bottle on your desk if you want to drink more water. Hide the cookies if you want to snack less.
Reward Yourself: Even small wins deserve celebration. Your brain needs to associate the new routine with pleasure.
Be Patient with Yourself: Habits aren’t broken in a day, just like they weren’t built in one.
Think of habits like trails in a forest. Every time you walk the same path, it becomes clearer and easier to follow. A new habit is like carving a new trail. It takes time, effort, and repetition before it feels natural.
So the next time you feel frustrated for slipping back into an old routine, remember: it’s not weakness, it’s wiring. And with enough consistency, patience, and the right strategies, you can rewire your brain to walk a better path.
